10. Kindness is Power. I observe numerous social situations where individuals engage in angry disputes, even over trivial details. Let others have the last word and gracefully walk away when others may be hostile. Be respectful even during times of conflict and do not engage in the heated banter. Do not let others influence your behavior; otherwise, you lose your power.

9. Imagery Defines The Journey. Individuals struggle with change if they cannot visualize where they see themselves in the future. Explore the obstacles in your path that are inhibiting your ability to envision a “better” you.

8. Core Beliefs Influence Behaviors. As Henry Ford stated, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t- you’re right.” His quote is reflective of self-efficacy such that beliefs in your abilities affect success.

7. Embrace Accountability. Commit to and follow through with tasks, both for yourself and others. Many people fail to follow the basic value of a “promise,” which is defined as “a declaration assuming that one will or will not do something- a vow.” Much of the heartache seen in relationships is that promises become as dispensable as paper towels.

6. Think for Yourself. Question the meaning of your actions. What activities provide meaning for you? Are you just following the actions of your peer group or do you truly find enjoyment? Engage in events that fill your soul, rather than empty it.

5. Live Well. You unwittingly deliver an unspoken message in your community with actions. People “listen” to what you do rather than what you say.

4. Live Passionately. Take risks in life to achieve goals. Don’t be afraid of victory or defeat- either one builds character.

3. Give of Yourself. People tend to find happiness in their lives when they volunteer and offer their emotional and tangible support to others. Those who are selfish tend to be unhappy, irritable, and struggle with finding worth.

2. Reflect. It may sound counter-intuitive, but we do not necessarily learn from experience. If we did, then Elizabeth Taylor would have been happily married the second time. Rather, we truly learn from reflecting upon our experiences.

1. The Blessing of Unconditional Love. Peter Gwillim Kreitler beautifully stated the following: “The greatest gift ever given to another, and the greatest gift to receive, is the gift of unconditional love, the acceptance of who we are. We all fall short of the mark on occasion, but when someone loves us even when we make mistakes, it can be transformative.” In addition to you being that special someone who gives unconditional love, surround yourself with those who provide a soft place to land when you fall, rather than those who are quick to leave and never look back.

May you embark on the chapter of 2012 with an enlightened spirit, an open mind, and a charitable heart.

Berries: Blueberries, blackberries, raspberries, strawberries and cranberries are among the most antioxidant rich foods. They are full of minerals, vitamins, and fiber that reduce the risk of heart disease and cancer.

Other Fruits: The best sources are citrus fruit, acai berry, apples, grapes, cherries, green and red pears, plums, pineapple, and kiwi. Other benefits are that the acai berry may help with weight loss. Citrus fruits are rich in vitamin C, which protects the body against stroke, cancer, and heart disease.

Beans: Small red beans, kidney, pinto, and black beans are most beneficial for the body.

Vegetables: Artichokes, spinach, red cabbage, red and white potatoes (with peel), sweet potatoes, carrots, and broccoli are wonderful sources of antioxidants. Broccoli contains antioxidants that reduce the risk of ovarian, breast, and cervical cancers. It has high levels of vitamin C, calcium, fiber, and beta-carotene.

Beverages: Green and black tea, coffee, red wine, and pomegranate juice have the highest level of antioxidants. Tea minimizes the risk of some kinds of cancer, degenerative diseases, stroke, and heart disease.

Nuts: Walnuts, pistachios, pecans, hazelnuts and almonds are some prime examples of nuts that contain high levels of antioxidants.

Grains: To obtain the highest antioxidant content, stick to oat-based grains.

Dessert: Dark chocolate ranks as high as or higher than most fruits and vegetables when it comes to antioxidant content. However, be careful to eat this delicious treat in small amounts as the calories can add up.

It appears that one of the greatest challenges to pediatric obesity is to truly understand the underlying reasons for parents’ choices of reinforcement methods, such that they are increasingly encouraging a detrimental association between food and behavior. There are several speculations for this paradigm shift in parental strategies over the last few decades. Technological advances in our society breed a fast-paced, quick turn-around lifestyle, lending families to expect immediate outcomes. Further, the American family experiences increased stressors due to demanding work schedules for both parents, competitive prerequisites for college entry (such as demonstrating children’s active involvements in clubs, organizations, etc.), and financial pressures. Subsequently, parents tend to act upon a guilty conscience for not being able to allot the desired amount of quality time to spend with their kids, leading them to quickly acquiesce to their children’s successes in the most time and cost efficient manner, rather than by taking time to provide adaptive emotional reinforcement. This behavior is observed frequently during family therapy sessions where parents struggle with knowing the appropriate types of reinforcements to provide to their children, while maintaining a healthy balance of disciplined structure.

The long-term results of this dysfunctional interchange are that children become “victims” of classic conditioning rather than “beneficiaries” of this advantageous behavioral intervention method when applied appropriately. Children will learn not only to reward their own performance with poor food choices, but they also may learn to engage in emotional eating as a coping mechanism when confronted with life’s obstacles. These destructive behaviors can lead to overeating or binge eating behaviors to the extent that children have been failed by their mentors to learn adaptive internal mechanisms of establishing healthy boundaries and decision-making processes. This critical analysis allows us, as parents, to acknowledge that responsibility for the obesity problem lies within a microcosm of changing family dynamics, with unspoken messages being the loudest. Parents miss the mark when they perseverate on what children are served at school or at their friend’s or grandparent’s houses, out of their controlled environment. It is not what they are served to eat in an environment that is important, but it is how they learn to manage their eating behaviors.
Children can still be rewarded for their achievements and noble behavior, though with non-edible treats. Express love to your child unconditionally with smiles, hugs, or merely any activity while engaging in positive quality time. Remember that these unconditional goodies are most effective when given during pleasant times as well as during times of distress. These rewarding parent-child exchanges plant the seeds for healthy interpersonal attachments, which will inadvertently inspire children to spark their intrinsic motivation and internal will (rather than being manipulated by external rewards) to achieve their potential and take responsibility for choosing fruitful– not sickeningly sweet– growth experiences. As Anne Frank stated, “Parents can only give good advice or put them [children] on the right paths, but the final forming of a person’s character lies in their own hands.”

Fuel Stored, Fat Burned
Most of the fuel you use during exercise does not even come from the food you have recently eaten. It actually comes from carbohydrates called “glycogen” and fat stored in your muscle, liver, and fat cells. Enough energy lies in these three locations to power you through three to four hours of moderate exercise. If your overall diet is adequate, you may not need to eat anything at all before a workout. So, if eating before a workout upsets your stomach, or if you exercise at a time when you’re not hungry, there is absolutely no need to force yourself to eat something.

While eating a large meal an hour or less before working out is not recommended, if you have a hard time working out without something in your stomach, that’s fine too! Eating a snack before exercising will not negatively impact your workout. In fact, if you have diabetes or hypoglycemia, eating before working out is encouraged.

Smart Snacks
Snacks recommended before exercise are foods that are fast-digesting (high glycemic index) carbohydrates with very little fat, (which digests slowly) so that you get the most efficient nourishment for your workout.

Good choices for pre-workout snacks include fruit and yogurt, granola bars, a whole-grain bagel/crackers with peanut butter, or trail mix with nuts and dried fruit. When it comes to eating and exercise, what’s most important is to get to know your body and how it responds to a workout so that you can give it what it needs to perform at its optimal level.

Jumpin’ Java, Latte Energy
While there is no magic formula to determine what to eat before a workout, there may be one magic ingredient: Coffee. Drinking a cup of coffee before a workout can increase stamina while helping to promote weight loss. Research on cyclists has even shown that those who had caffeine while riding pedaled faster and longer than those that drank water.

Studies have also shown that a cup of coffee before hitting the gym can delay exercise induced fatigue by 60 percent! If you want the most out of your workout, try drinking a cup of coffee– just leave out the calorie heavy creamer!

Making smart food choices and staying consistent with your workout will keep your body in fat-burning mode and will achieve the best results for your fitness goals!

Type A: This type of personality can start with intense workouts in a group such as boot camp, sports team, kickboxing, or any type of high energy workout to target their fast-paced, high stress personality. The goal would be to gradually introduce workouts that encompass more meditative type of exercise such as yoga or Pilates in order to assist them with eliciting the relaxation response as a coping strategy. Multiple health benefits are experienced from this strategy, which includes decreasing their tendency to be irritable, hostile, and defensive, leading to lowered blood pressure levels and resting heart rates.

Social Butterfly: This individual will tend to embrace any type of group exercise class or sports team, as they will feel fulfilled by engaging in a common goal with peers. The class may afford them the opportunity to transform the scheduled class into a satisfying social event. The challenge for this individual would be to focus inward, most likely in a personal training session, so an inventory of personal attributes can be explored without being distracted by social stimulus.

Wall Flower: This person would need to start with personal training sessions to feel safe and competent with exercise techniques, movements, patterns, and routines. The one-on-one attention would be enjoyed so not to encounter any self-conscious experiences that a group may present. Eventually, the client can be coached to enter into a group class. This process is referred to as systematic desensitization or graded exposure in which a person is slowly exposed to stressful experiences step-by-step coupled with relaxation tools in efforts to attain a final feared goal.

The Problem Solver (“The Fixer”): This person would enjoy the variety and exploration of exercise tools, such as stability and medicine balls, gliding discs, and body bar. The problem-solver can then be challenged by being presented with an exercise in which they cannot yet perform, such as a plank on the TRX Suspension Training system, so that he/she realizes that the only solution to achieve this task is to be patient and practice it over time.

The Dreamer: Any type of dance fitness such ZumbaTM or Bachata may be a great avenue for this person. Engaging in fluid routines and rhythmic-based movements can stimulate their fantasies and dreams. Fitness is used as a great coping mechanism to escape the stress of day-to-day routine life. We can all benefit from the dreamer a few times a week!

Identifying and understanding a person’s character strengths and limitations can help foster exercise success and long-term adherence, which will most likely lead to brighter moods, weight loss, and interpersonal satisfaction over time. This guided process nicely demonstrates that exercise can be a stable, grounding resource for individuals in times of stress and teach them how to address aspects in life that they avoid and/or fear the most, both in and out of the gym environment.

Dunwoody-based clinical health psychologist, Dr. Susan Rudnicki, who specializes in teen problems and women’s issues, weighs in on the controversial world of children’s beauty pageants.

Fox 5′s Tacoma Perry interviews Dr. Rudnicki about a local 3 year old girl’s quest for the crown:

Dr. Susan Rudnicki
WINDER, Ga. – Children’s pageants are a fast growing industry, with billions of dollars flowing through the pipeline. Yearly in Georgia, thousands of girls compete to take home a coveted crown or title.

But what effect does the competition have on a child’s self-esteem?

Three-year-old Paisley Scott of Winder is accustomed to being fussed over.

“She has a lot of hair for a 3 year old. She was born with hair down her back and over her ears,” said Paisley’s mother Wendy Dickey.

And it was as a 6-month-old baby, that her mother Wendy entered into her in a pageant with the caveat from paisley’s father that it would be the only one.

“We did Miss Barrow County and she won. And when she won, he toted her around like a little trophy. So he said, ‘ok, you can do more if you want to. So now, I think we’re in the sixties. We’ve done sixty-something pageants,” said Wendy Dickey.

And Paisley has taken the top prize at more than 50 of those pageants. She’s even been featured on TLC’s “Toddlers and Tiaras.” And it’s the sometimes crazed characters on the show that have many shaking their heads. But Atlanta psychologist, Dr. Susan Rudnicki says there are some good things that come from pageantry, among them raising money for charities and college.

“Also, a lot of girls who have had trouble with public speaking, or confidence level, shy or have difficulty being around other people learn to be more self confident, have greater self esteem, being comfortable in their own body, in their own skin,” said psychologist Dr. Susan Rudnicki.

But when do you draw the line? When is a child’s achievement being driven by the parents?

“Are they getting into constant battles about the hair and the makeup and if that’s the case, the parent has to look at the reasons why they’re getting their child into this,” said Rudnicki.

“She’s the biggest sponge that I know. She watches the other girls. I come home at night, daddy, I want to do my pageant. She does things you wouldn’t think a 3 year old could do. You would think somebody’s coaching her but she hasn’t had a whole lot coaching,” said Paisley’s father, Scott Dickey.

Dr. Rudnicki says it’s important that your children like what they see when they look in the mirror, whether they’re considered beautiful or not. And she also says in the world of pageantry, they must know that you love them even when the tiara comes off.

“We all, even as adults, we all try out things that we think we might like and it may not work out and that’s ok, that’s part of life – trial and error,” said Rudnicki.

Wendy says for now, Paisley just loves playing dress up. But if and when it ends, she has a backup plan.

“She really loves gymnastics, so if pageants don’t work out in the future we hope to be successful with gymnastics also,” said Wendy Dickey.

Paisley’s TLC episodes will air on July 20 and July 27. Spoiler alert – when the show airs you’ll see Paisley win ultimate grand supreme.

As a medical term, adherence is defined as the extent to which a person’s behavior coincides with medical regimens and health advice (this concept can also apply to other behaviors in life, such as financial spending and enhancing adaptive communication with family members). Problems with adherence have been constant throughout history; even Hippocrates was known to declare that his patients lied about taking their medications. In general, following through with treatment programs for preventive health behaviors, such as diet and exercise, is lower than for those behaviors requiring long-term management of chronic conditions. Although this information is not surprising due to the mind-body fortitude involved with lifestyle changes, it is indeed quite upsetting given that many disease states such as hypertension and diabetes can be preventable.

So, how can we enhance our adherence rates? First, we need to understand obstacles to adherence, which can range from cognitive factors such as self-esteem and self-efficacy (our belief in our ability to effect change) and environmental factors such as social support and finances. Subsequently, we need to appreciate that efforts to improve adherence rates are best enhanced by implementing multi-component strategies, which can include: 1) tailor plans/goals to fit into a daily routine and lifestyle (behavioral sticker charts are rarely maintained over time, setting parents up for feelings of failure); 2) use the environment as cues (e.g., leave vitamin supplements/medications next to toothbrush); 3) give yourself rewards (e.g., working out three times per week allows a trip to the manicurist); and 4) seek social support from positive sources such as trainers, support groups, financial advisors and helpful family members.
Don’t be afraid to use trial and error; see what strategies work best for you and your lifestyle. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. Don’t listen to others’ criticisms or ridicules of your quest for change. Don’t quit. Remember…

“You will never change your life until you change something you do daily.”

—Mike Murdock

I got involved with Pure Fashion because I thought the event sent a good message: To promote healthy body image and self-awareness for teenage girls, while helping them choose fashion that is age appropriate.  That message is especially relevant for me, as the mother of a pre-teen girl and the inspiration behind the launch of my new Get Fit 4 Girls fitness class. I started Get Fit 4 Girls, so girls at the pivotal ages of 8-12 get a positive introduction to fitness when they’re young. By starting early, my goal is for girls to equate exercise with fun so they develop healthy habits over a lifetime. (We all know how much harder it is when you get older to kick start an exercise program!)

As a vendor at the event, I set up my table with literature about Get Fit 4 Girls, and other elements of my business, from the psychology side to personal training. There was an immediate sense of camaraderie among the other vendors at the event. Everyone seemed to share a common link — women in their 30’s and 40’s who are having a hard time finding time for themselves because of juggling busy families.

Those are the moments when I feel I have the chance to empower them as women — because a healthier mother means a healthier family. There is simply NOT a magic bullet or a standard formula to apply to everyone. I try to encourage busy women to find structure for their lifestyle and recognize the power they have to change their bodies and their lives! It just takes one change to begin the momentum to put other change into effect.

One woman stopped at my table to ask me about personal training. She told me she felt guilty investing any money in herself to improve her body or her appearance, even though she was unhappy with her weight. She said, “I should be humble and I shouldn’t be vain, because if I’m looking too pretty or taking too much care of myself, then I’d be selfish.”

This is how I responded: “YOU DESERVE to take care of yourself. When are you ready to start?” Developing a positive and SELF-confident (not a synonym for SELFish, by the way) view of yourself is the best way to encourage the same things in your children. Our daughters will emulate us — for better or for worse. Ultimately, fashion won’t mean a thing, unless she can wear it with confidence! And isn’t that what Peace, Love & Pure is all about?

Photo of Paisley Dickey by Bonnie Rebholz and Fancy Fotos

What are the benefits of pageants for young girls?
Pageants can provide a forum to enhance young girls’ self-esteem and sense of confidence by exploring their wonderfully diverse personality assets. They can help guide girls to strengthen their cognitive skills, physical development and overall social grace and poise.

What are the downsides?
Downsides to pageants occur when the emphasis is placed solely on external beauty. Then a young girl learns only to value beauty on the outside; missing a valuable lesson that true beauty flourishes from the inside out. Girls who value merely external beauty tend to be unhappy, unsatisfied and subsequently have difficulty with establishing healthy interpersonal relationships with others due to their limited sense of self.
Do pageants put too much emphasis on beauty, hair, makeup and clothes?
There is absolutely too much emphasis on external characteristics of beauty, rather than internal beauty traits. A healthy approach would be to focus more on talent and skills, community service, intelligence and academic achievement.

How should parents de-emphasize these things?
Parents should primarily provide positive reinforcement and verbal praise for acts of kindness (such as helping a friend with homework or completing chores without being asked), achieving good grades and thoughtful problem-solving when she confronts adversity in life. Parents should also be encouraged to compliment their daughter’s beauty in her most natural states – when she just wakes up in the morning or when she gets messy during playtime. On stage with “Pageant Perfect” hair and makeup should not be the only time a girl feels or is told she is beautiful!

Do you think parents who encourage pageants are exposing their young girls to unnecessary dangers, such as stalkers and pedophiles?
Not necessarily. In today’s social media- driven world, there is always online access for predators. Parents should keep an open dialogue with their kids about these types of dangers and monitor Internet access accordingly. As always, parents need to heed caution and practice good judgment about whom they allow to supervise their daughters when they are not present.

Where do parents draw the line between constructive and hurtful criticism?
The result of hurtful criticism is shame, embarrassment and guilt, leading ultimately to self-sabotaging behaviors. Rather than continuously pointing out to children what they are doing wrong, either through caustic verbal exchanges or disappointed facial expressions, parents can optimize their children’s potential and personal assets with constructive feedback. This philosophy is best described as verbal praise and nonverbal reinforcement (smiles, hugs) for positive behaviors, coupled with supportive direction for behavioral change when addressing personal limitations.

What if your child does not want to participate but you have spent all this money on clothes, coaches and hair?
Listen to your child and allow her to dismiss herself from the pageant. The focus should not be on money lost but on lessons learned in the process, including what interests your daughter chooses to pursue in life. If you force her to participate, then you deliver a detrimental message that your daughter is controlled by money, rather than on a well-grounded exploration of personal desires and interests.

What questions do you as a parent need to ask yourself before getting involved in pageants?
Parents need to ask themselves the real reasons behind their desire to participate. Does their daughter truly want to compete in a pageant? Or is this a way to live vicariously through their daughter to fulfill the dreams and experiences that they didn’t have as children? When a parent is driving the desire and the decision to participate, this can lead to an unspoken message that the child is responsible for the parents’ happiness. On the other hand, if the child shows a genuine desire to be involved in pageants, parents can support and guide their daughter through the process in a healthy way. Whether or not their daughter walks away with a tiara and title, she can still benefit from a positive pageant experience!

Joining Susan, was her daughter, Miranda Rudnicki, Alex Lipsky, Jenna Holland, Mallory Nathan and Jules Mencher. CBS anchor Tracye Hutchins asked Alex about the best part of the “Get Fit 4 Girls” class.

“It’s so much fun!” Alex said. “It doesn’t even feel like we’re working out, plus we can ask her [Susan] to do certain activities and she’ll [incorporate them] into the work-out.”

Susan’s next “Get Fit 4 Girls” classes starts March 16th and 17th. The class will be at 4:45pm on Wednesdays and/or Thursdays.

Click on the link below to see Susan and these Fit Girls workin’ it on Better Mornings Atlanta!

Dr. Susan Rudnicki and her "Get Fit 4 Girls" fitness class featured on Better Mornings Atlanta